Its one of the most common responses in my line of work to the simple "How are you?" everyone will spit out "living the dream" but what kind of dream are you living in? Is it the enchanted dream of working a job and living a life that fulfills all your needs, physically, spiritually, finically? OR is it a nightmare you are walking through every day just surviving with your nose and mouth out of the water while the waves crash around you?
I have to take my time to ask myself this from time to time. When the answer is this is a complete nightmare I have to look within to see why, what has made it this way? Is is a bad call I am triggered by and need help moving forward from? Is it a personal attitude problem? Do I need time away or a complete change of venue?
Right now I am living the best dream! The American dream! (well close to the best if I didn't work so much overtime but that's besides the point.) If you were to ask me 6 months ago I would have answered 110% differently. I was drowning at work with coworkers, administration and supervisors that made me feel worthless and unwanted. I was over worked, not living any sense of a healthy life and in a relationship that I put more into than I got out of it. Full circle I felt I was walking through the brimstone fires of 6th layer of HELL.
You might be asking " But how did you turn it around?" #1 when he left me for another woman, I allowed my self to know there is nothing wrong with me, I gave it my all and he wanted someone else I deserve someone that will but in the same effort as me. #2 I took the same train of thought to my employment, if they cannot see my worth, or even have the decency to speak to me and treat me like the human being I am and not just like meat puppet or the classic "warm body in a seat" then I DESERVE BETTER. I did my research, applied and found an agency that listens and supports its people.
Now you might be saying "well that's nice Cindy I don't have the luxury to look else where." I get that I was fortunate I have local agencies and was in a position I had nothing to lose when it came to seniority, retirement, and other benefits. Not everyone or everywhere has that. However I want it to be known THERE IS GOOD AGENCIES OUT THERE! Just like the seemingly rare gentleman... there is supportive administrations' in the first responder world, you just have to look for them.
You know what you need to thrive, only you can change the world you are living in. Yes others around you can influence it but its all about how you react to those influences. do you get mad and stay salty? or are you going to do something about it? are you going to stay in the situation that is a living hell or are you ready to say " this is doing more harm than good for me" and take a stand against adversity, make your voice heard, change the narrative from being in the fires of hell to walking the path of a life of liberty, freedom and the pursuit of happiness.
IT ALL STARTS WITHIN you just have to ask some hard questions.
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